Break through moment

So when I last left you I was seeing my GP and that I did...

Well I was ready a fight... I was to broken too tired to put up with this without help and... I didn't need to fight the GP was amazing he checked everything full MOT. ordered more blood tests, there and then I went downstairs and had them done.
He said he was pretty sure it was Fibromyalgia but if the blood tests show anything else he will call me, and they will be back in a day or so...

So I told myself two doctors are not so likely to be wrong and I am filled with confidence in this doctor I saw and BANG we have acceptance... I'm not happy about it how can I be I'm 27 years old (though if you ask me on a fibro fog day I might tell you I'm 26) and a mother of three small children the youngest isn't even two yet and there's so much I can't do.

I still cry a lot and I am far from being comfortable with the 'new me' but acceptance is the first step... 
Next will be can do's not can't do's maybe that will be the next entry... maybe not though maybe I need a lot more time to feel sorry for myself.

So what is the plan right now... Well now I'm on okay painkillers... they help a bit unfortunately giving me a headache lol

Its a very high dose which makes me feel quite ill so I am trying to balance it for when I need the full dose today I took 1 tramadol and then topped it with ibuprofen and paracetamol (which i need the paracetamol for the tramadol headache lol) so this keeps me going along with antidepressants...

Today... today I am going to eat half my dinner if not all of it... and that's my goal... simple isn't it... I'm struggling to eat lately, partly the tablets, partly the fibro and I suspect partly depression... but lets try today to eat half a meal and see what happens...

Sometimes I like to listen to music I can relate to, which will probably (almost definitely) make me cry... I need to cry at the moment and it feels better to cry at a song then to begin to get lost in self pity because if I get too caught in that spiral I may never get out!

This is a song I relate to a lot some times I feel like this sums it up.