Todays thought

Today for a change I will put about my day first instead of boring anyone who might be reading with another ramble lol

oh and check out my new banner :D

Alyssa saw a consultant today and starts antacids and a special formula for her reflux.
slightly worrying is her weight gain according to the drs scales has stayed static for 2 weeks which for a 10 week old isnt good.
Though she is feeding 3 hourly she isnt hungry but it just means she is probabaly brining up a bit too much of her feeds.

so the future at the moment is 4 months of antacids and 6 months dairy free for me and her, then I have to add dairy into my diet... which im not looking forward to Dairy free for 2 weeks if i eat anything with even a bit in now it upsets my stomach so god knows what it will be like in 6 months.

But looking forward to my pain free baba.

on a downside it meant leaving the house to take her, anxity levels through the roof! I couldnt sleep lastnight very well kept waking up in a panic and in the end i had to taxi it to the hospital, and even the thought of doing that had me shaking and in tears. I am so glad they changed emilys apt to next friday it gives me a whole week to recover before having to do the same trip again.

When it comes to Sophinas apt 2 towns away I think i'm going to be dragging the whole family I just cant do it.

So what was I thinking about lastnight... Names...

So what is about a name, we get named by our parents, if you discover a star you get to name it or even if you find a new animal its your right, right?

But what about things people didnt discover like us! who decided we were Homo sapiens, now you can go into the origins of the words ect but you gotta have some balls to go... you know what I think for the whole of the human population I will call us Homo sapiens

you could almost imagine the pub convo can't you... man one: "I have decided we are Homo sapiens" man two: "you what why have you decided that" man one: "I discovered you so i get to do it" man two: "no i discovered you *hic*"

its almost like going out and renaming another persons child isnt it lol

When language and speech were first developed no doubt there was a basic name for people in general because primal man didnt speak latin and the building blocks of speach definatly would not of involved such a long term. The same thing could be said for the sky and the sun and the sea these things would of been there and called something before they were named such probabaly something with an ug sound in it. S is not a natural sound for humans which is why alot of children struggle with it so the basic things which make up our lives such as sky and sea and sun wouldnt of been called that, it wuld of relied on the primitive tones and sounds.

another thing is why is cow called beef and pig pork.
We dont do this with most other things chicken, duck, lamb, boar, turky all called what they are but yet beef and pork are differant.

so thats my thought for today...

now my pro and con of the day...

Today the thinig that bothered me is... Leaving the house

The thing that made me smile was... how well behave Sophina was while i spoke to the dr about her sister

Progression of eating meat...

I wonder how we ended up eating meat.

at what point did a caveman decide to chow down on a cow.

The way I think about it, the natural urge to eat and the fact most animals are stronger, faster and bigger then us in general, humans would of started as plant eaters well it makes sense why take on something you dont know which in one way or another is bigger then you or faster you dont need to work for your dinner.

so to think of it we are probabaly looking at one cold winter where there was no food primal man began eating the dead of there village

now pretty gross right but at first they wouldnt consider skinning it why would they now thats pretty tough going isnt it
so now they would probabaly wait for the skin to rot minging or what

now after that they would of probabaly worked on how to remove the flesh. then when they ran out of the dead they would of considered eating other animals probabaly waiting for there dead and then moved onto killing them

now i bet theres a trick to killing animals with primitive tools so they probabaly had a few mishaps I find the mental image of a primitive man being chased by a pissed off cow a pretty good thought.

I hopefully in my intro post i explained i can be a bit random its a coping mechinisim

Lastnight my PTSD was very bad I am wanting to learn to drive but unfortunatly being in a strangers car triggers me so the though of doing it has triggered me

so i to try and sleep thought about cave men eating meat lol

I have to take Alyssa to the hospital tommorow, big struggle not sure what Im going to do.

There is taking the bus but i am so scared of buses at the moment. or we can walk which is also scary because well it just is

I need to decide one way or another because bus means taking her in a sling walking means the pushchair

actually i think it has to be walking cause of the apt time.

Hopefully get some meds for her belly and also a hypoallogenic formula so i can go back to mix feeding and have the odd milky treat every now and then.

John joked to me about being dairy free and soon they will all smell like sour milk like the chinese think we do because they dont drink milk and we all had a chuckle...

but today i went into the kids room and could smell sour milk I went and told john he couldnt smell anything
i went back in and it was soooo strong...
I found a cup sophina had chucked down the side of her bed with milk in it! it must of been from a day or so ago but to me it stank sooooooo bad so weird.

And to finish todays addition...

one thing that bothered me today: my PTSD, nothing bothers me more then the fact 10 years later that child molesting scum bag can have such an effect on my life.

One thing that made me smile is that I got the house almost totally sorted AND I am finally getting to the end of my never ending washing (I spend so much time washing Alyssas refluxy stuff that i get behind on the rest)